MEMORY IS THE COLOUR YOU ALLOW IT TO BE
how I came to yoga - part 1
I was very sick as a child. I had polio when I was 4 years old and the doctors told my parents that I'd never be able to walk again. My mother used to say that the reason I could walk was that I was too young to understand the doctors.
I’m originally from New York and, in the summer of 1950, the City was in the midst of a polio epidemic. With so many cases, there was no room in the children’s ward for another sick four year old. So, I was put into an adult ward – in a crib. I still remember my indignation at being treated as a baby.
Finally, when it was time to go home, my father came and lifted me up onto his shoulder and we joyously strolled out of the hospital. I remember being happy; I remember my father being happy. But what I don’t remembered is the reason that he carried me on his shoulder.
Many years later, when I was in my forties or fifties at that time, I was speaking with my mother and she said something about “that year that you were paralyzed”. I said “what year?” I could barely remember it.
My main memory being the joyous occasion of leaving the hospital. But for my mother the memory of the same incident was one of her worst nightmares that continued to make her cry many years later. She reminded me that my father was carrying me because I was unable to walk.
It made me realise that we each filter our experiences of the world through our own minds, emotions and past experiences – and, of course, everyone’s mind, emotions and past experiences are different. I think that life is as joyous or as happy as we allow it be. Our memories are coloured by our minds.
The polio had left me paralysed in both legs and along the left side of my body. When anyone told me that I couldn’t walk, I was indignant. I knew that I could, as I wasn’t a baby.
And because I ‘knew’ I could walk, I kept trying, often jumping out of my pushchair. At first, my legs didn’t respond and I’d fall on my face. But I kept trying.
Gradually the nerves and muscles in my legs began to awaken. At first I could walk only with braces, but gradually the legs became stronger. Many nerves and muscles had died, but the human body if very adaptable. Without realising it, I trained other muscles to take their place. This is why I have always walked with a very distinctive bouncing gait – walking on my toes.
How this led me to yoga will become clear in future posts.